And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
