K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
