butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
