And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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