you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
