I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
