Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
