I'm lost and stupid without you.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just threw up on my dentist
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
