How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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