Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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