be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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