we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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