Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
