dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
