..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
