yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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