Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
