I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
