I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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