I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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