she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
