i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
