Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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