I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
