i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
