How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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