so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do herpes really smell.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
