Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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