Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
