new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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