It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
