College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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