Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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