margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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