P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
