lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize