he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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