yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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