the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
