you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
