just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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