It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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