ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
