this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
