i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
