taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize