I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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