You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
