"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize