all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
