It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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