quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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