She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
