I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
