just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
